If you find a 3 inch brown thing with long antennas poking out behind your book on your nightstand, chances are you have a water bug in your bedroom.
Do not call your husband in Seattle. He'll laugh at you like he did with the gecko. Instead, get your biggest shoes with the biggest heels (not stilletos though-you need more surface area for squashing).
1. Jump on the bed with a big brown boot in your hand, and track the bug until he runs to the middle of the room.
2. Sneak off the bed, with boot held over head.
3. Scream and jump back on the bed when the water bug runs toward you.
4. Sneak off the bed again, determined to kill the stupid bug this time.
5. Hit it as hard as you can with the heel of your boot, trying to ignore the crunch factor of the bug under your shoe.
6. Get the vacuum, and suck it up inside so you don't have to touch the big dead body.
7. Have a glass of wine, and applaud yourself for personally killing your first big bug in Texas.
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